A brief encounter with truth

Lying in bed, eyes closed, listening to a movie because I just wanted a familiar noise in the background but wasn’t committed enough to siting up to watch it, I suddenly got swooped into lets call it the All That Is.

First it was with my identity still intact so I could marvel at what was happening and finally there was no identity, no memory, not even the memory of ever having a memory. I hope that makes sense.

Let’s get back to the beginning.

It started with the feeling of me letting go of layer after layer of all forms of solidness. First the bed was “forgotten”. Then the sensations of the body. Then the content of the mind. At first I thought I was going into a lucid dream because sometimes that’s how it begins. But the difference this time is that eventually all my memory was gone and even though I still had my identity still intact for a while for a while, even that finally disappeared too and all that was left was bliss, love, like how it would feel if beauty was a feeling…

Describing it seems impossible for me. Plus I’m sure we’ve all heard it done by people who’ve done it better than I ever could. All I can manage is, saying it was beautiful is an understatement. Or more accurately, it IS beautiful. It IS always here. There was an intuitive understanding that this is all there ever was and ever will be. Everything is either in it or is made of it, that part I don’t know for sure.

The funny thing though is when it started to happen, with every layer that dropped I just kept thinking to myself “Oh wow, that was so cool!” expecting that would be the end of it and I would just remain floating there, only to be even more surprised by how that much more peaceful and beautiful the next stage was as I became less and less.

Less heaviness, less baggage, less memory, less ideas of what and who I am or should be. Less “knowing” of anything. Until finally there was no “me” or anything/anyone to remember there was once an entity that is me.

It felt like dropping into a more expansive space that is so huge, it can’t be held within the body. It’s beyond the body and extends into the far outreaches of beyond anything my brain is capable of understanding. And from everything I’ve heard it’s better not to, just enjoy it if it happens and leave it at that.